A lot has happened since I posted last, so I will attempt to catch you up. On Wednesday, March 24th, I spent my morning doing a few things around the house and then sat at the computer to read some blogs. When I got up, I was immediately struck with mind-blowing pain that began in my left pelvic bone and radiated down into my leg. I half-hobbled, half-crawled to my bed, where I laid for the next hour crying. I didn't feel contractions, what was this?! I called my OB and he said go to L and D. I finally gave in around noon, called my girlfriend who is a stay-at-home-mom, and had her come help me into her car and get to the hospital. My husband was still at work, so I just texted him to let him know.
Once they wheeled me in and got me settled, they realized that I was contracting regularly, but still had no explanation for the pain in my pelvic bone. They couldn't check to see if I was dilated because of the placenta previa, so I was started on Procardia to slow the contractions. My husband made it up after securing a sitter for Ainsley and in the early evening, we were discharged. Possible "pubic symphasis dysfuction" was discussed as the source of the pain and my OB left instructions for me to pick up a prescription for what the nurse and I assumed was for pain medication.
We made it home, with me still being unable to walk for the most part. After Mike got me into bed, he went to pick up my prescription, but it wasn't there. So, I took Tylenol and went to sleep. On Thursday, I took it easy, finally making it downstairs around noon to make some lunch. Still in a lot of pain, but working through it. We spent the evening eating pizza together and shortly after Ainsley went to sleep, I sat downstairs on the couch and began watching television while Mike worked out in the garage. At some point, I decided to stand up to go to the bathroom and felt a gush. Thought it was my water breaking, but soon discovered the placenta had finally decided to give out. We called my girlfriend to come over to be with Ainsley and headed back to Labor and Delivery.
Upon getting into the room, the first nurse I had (one of about 25 over the next week) asked me to remove my pants to see how significant the bleeding was. I just stared at her in disbelief and my husband quietly said, "Um, can't you just look at the floor?" I left a nice little trail everywhere I went. She immediately freaked out, got me into the bed, and my OB was there shortly. It was then I discovered the medication he had called in, which was somehow not filled at my lovely local pharmacy, was for Procardia for the contractions. Once we got hooked up, we realized I was contracting quite nicely again - and bleeding still. The peri arrived soon thereafter and it was decided to get my bleeding under control, contractions under control, get some steroid shots for the boys lung development, and see how long I could make it. I got a bedside potty since I was allowed out of the bed for any reason. And there I sat.
Contractions were all over the place for the duration of the weekend and the bleeding slowed down, with just one more significant bleed on Saturday. On Sunday, the peri came in to let me know my blood work was coming back abnormal - my liver enzymes were high. I almost started laughing - are you kidding me?!?! He discussed possible preeclampsia and said that we would wait until Monday morning to repeat the levels and if they went up, I would have to deliver. I then noticed my feet began to swell and my body began to look strangely foreign and I began to accept the reality of the situation. Apparently procardia is a blood pressure medication, too, so even though my BP was good, it was probably being masked by the medication. Monday morning's bloodwork revealed double the levels and I was prepped for an afternoon c-section.
My c-section with Ainsley was remarkably easy to recover from and I never felt like it was a difficult or negative experience in any way. This time around, every single second of it was horrifying. The anesethiologist had multiple IVs in me because my veins kept collapsing, he even put in a arterial line (whole lotta fun, let me tell you) to monitor my BP internally, and my epidural was given as a slow drip to prevent my BP from dropping. Once they got ready to begin, I wasn't numb enough and they kept having to give multiple medications. I was awake and aware enough during the procedure to feel slight pain, but I didn't want to go to sleep. I saw them place both screaming boys over the blue drape - my gorgeous little works of art - but I also heard a lot of discussion on clots and bleeding and both doctors almost arguing at times about how to handle this bleed and that situation. It was then my memory got foggy. What I do know is I awoke to the knowledge that I needed blood transfusions because I almost bleed out, that the pain I was experiencing in my left side was actually an entire separate "wing" of a uterus my body decided to develop, with an artery "the size of Texas". It tore away from the uterine muscle, too, somewhere over the course of the week. I was set up with a pain pump and while I had hoped to get out of bed once I felt ready, I soon discovered it would be over 24 hours before I could even move without screaming. The force and determination it took me to get to the nursery the next night was overwhelming - the few pictures I have of me holding the boys for the first time shows an incredibly pale, sick mommy. But my Lord, I have some amazing little men.
They are currently in the NICU, but have been breathing room air since the beginning. They are just "growers and feeders", as the nurses call them. Aidan has a feeding tube, but still nipples most of his feeds. He just gets tuckered out as the day progresses. Quinn is smaller and has been a fighter since the beginning. They haven't really been able to nail down a time when they will come home, but I am hoping it is within the week.
My emotions are all over the place and I am still in a lot of pain as I try to figure out this recovery process. I miss them immensely and am overwhelmed with the ache for them. I know I should be resting and getting ready for them to come home, but I am up and down all night. I told Mike I don't know if I have ever had this much anxiety and I don't know why. I just feel jumbled and tired and sore and confused. I hope all of this roughness passes soon and I can get them home so I can be a part of their little lives.